In the last month and during the trip, while standing on the dancing boat across the Chao Phraya, I kept assess everything, and it turned out that there is no reason for me to leave but yet no reason to stay either. Honestly I can’t just stay here receiving barely 300 USD/M. Yes I can still do other works in the evening , but when it’s get busier, the amount will be even less and how could I save for another trip or more, studying abroad? I know this family is trying to keep me stay here to take care of my brother but NO I AM NOT THEIR PLAN B. They gave up on me at first and now want to take me back NO. It’s a big no.
Another problem is myself. After meeting with some successful people I felt so left out, passive and lost. If I keep living like this then I will achieve nothing in the future. I want more knowledge and experience to develop my spiritual life and it can’t be done from staying still.